[4/1/23] #23

[4/1/23] My best friend and the most incredible woman who I lie next to as I type this has suffered such a tragedy. I worry endlessly that Im being present enough but also giving her enough space.

She is so much tougher than myself. She sees in a day, tragedies that if a person is of horrible fortune discovers in a lifetime.

She can handle anything life throws at her. A CPS officer in a terrible section of the city on our 4th date she had to leave early to get to the hospital to remove a fentanyl baby from her parents.

To see her emotional, not laughing or poking fun of me some days, cooking or baking at times has put far too much into perspective that I'm not willing to share in a large capacity currently.

I can share that I've had 9 months of the worst end game variance of my career. I'll survive. If I never win another bet, hand, I'll survive. When I constantly think of how bad my luck is, I tend to forget that it's been anything but the opposite.

Now onto less heavy stuff.

I get turned onto this podcast and that podcast. I try to absorb Twitter and keep up with as much as I can.

Disclaimer- I'm a fan of everyone. I genuinely enjoy basically everyone until I'm proven wrong and its going to take multiple fails before I concede on someone.

If you are actually concerned with the ratings and the future of Sports television because there's no blue blood in the final four. Wtf are you even talking about? Lol man those poor TV executives how will they ever survive?!

If you don't like the NBA regular season please don't talk about the regular season basically ever. Don't have a take on the MVP, seeding, injuries etc etc etc and then follow it up with none of it matters until the playoffs.

I know this shit about Golf therefore I have no opinions that are worth sharing. Id sound fucking ridiculous...

If you quote retweet to dunk on a rec bettor or someone who doesn't know what they're doing you look massively more foolish than the 4 likes you gathered.

If you randomly do any of the following dunk on Rovell, tout bash, start a CLV debate for no apparent reason or throw some praise towards a legend to get his or her attention I'm here to tell you. Nevermind I don't know what to tell you. It's bizarre to me.

Im going to share something that really affected me. I want you the reader to imagine both people in this scenario & how it impacted one person but was a non memorable moment for the other.

I bet fairly big. I bet below what my bankroll would dictate I should be betting. It took me 23 years, long years, hard work to get where I'm at & I increase my bet size every year very gradually.

I bet what I'm comfortable with, I feel losses all the same & can support myself with medium size winning years. I'm not wealthy but not poor. Im not overly interested in wealth. I love what I do, very few do.

I had always admired a bettor for a very long time. I read everything about him. I thought he was incredible in the few podcast appearances I found.

Mid December a friend introduced me via chat group to join them. A cordial introduction occured & then some initial questions about games taking place that night.

The well known man asked me if I needed a piece of a game he had a opinion on. I didn't share the same opinion and declined.

He then asked me just a ballpark figure of what I'd like to get down per game. I answered swiftly, honestly which I knew was meager to the other two men in the chat.

For 3 weeks I was invited to a chat that I would never be asked even a minimal opinion on anything discussed.

I was invisible to this man. Not on his level, hadn't reached the level of prestige or wealth, who knows.

I finally just asked one day if he had a opinion on a game I had a lean on and he answered briefly and ended the conversation a few moments later.

A couple days ago I got a message from the friend who introduced us that inquired why I left the group. I explained politely that I wasn't valued or getting anything from it.

Apologies were sent by both men neither necessary at this point and completely unaware I felt this way. In those weeks I was thought of in my mind as a the rec bettor, the casual only in my mind.

Everything I have, I earned and had to win to get here. No one is below me though.

I have shit health insurance I pay too much for, barely any retirement, my mom lies about what I do to her friends. The majority of my friends sent a condolences to your girl text followed by, "like anything tonight?" I'm not sure I'm above anyone on any pedestal.

Please be kinder to everyone, hug your parents and loved ones a bit tighter.

This is going to my last post for a little longer than usual. I'm going to ask two favors in the next few weeks.

The first. If you read this please just put a damn emoji that you read it. I don't care if it's a donkey, a poop emoji who cares. If I'm sharing my life with a audience with 17 I think it's fair I know already haha.

On a more serious note if you would like to tell everyone about yourself please use a paragraph or two (max) to tell us about yourself.

Eventually Id like to see more blogs appear. I can't be the only one that benefits from this release.

I think there are so many great people in this space that deserve acknowledgement and Id like (I'm not alone I'm sure) to know more if you'd like to share more.

Lastly congratulations to my friend Stephen who beat covid this past week. A cancer survivor this was no easy feat. Great job my man! Thank you for your friendship and congrats on the pony wins as well.

As always thank you for the space. Your friend, Eddie